If you've known the Heavenly Father for very long at all, you've probably realized that he doesn't want his kids to derive their sense of security from earthly sources. Anyone serious about discipleship is likely to find themselves in a season of complete helplessness at least once in their life, for the primary purpose of learning to exercise greater dependence upon God. I find myself in one of those seasons right now.
Before I describe my recent life-change and tell you about the sign that God provided to let me know that he's got the situation in hand, you need a little bit of backstory. My wife and I used to live in Maryland, where we met. Both of us had decent jobs there. In the spring of 2015 we got a feeling that we needed to relocate to my hometown of Austin, Texas. Moving back was an idea that I had been keen on for some time, but my hunt for a job in Texas hadn't seen any success. Nevertheless, we felt compelled to move despite the lack of prospects. It was a scary and potentially foolish idea, so I committed to a long fast in order to seek clarification. On the last day of that fast, as I prayed in the woods, I felt Adonai place a thought in my head three times: "Let go of the rope."
Honestly, the answer was less specific than I was hoping for, but I tried to receive the message gratefully. Who am I to accuse El Shaddai, the God of Provision, of not giving me enough to go on? As I contemplated the phrase that I'd heard, I became certain that God was verifying what we'd felt, that my family should take the plunge by leaving our home and jobs in Maryland. The metaphorical rope was the life-line provided by my fairly lucrative employment at Zenimax Online Studios. Letting go of that source of financial security would start a monetary free-fall that would soon end in disaster unless God intervened. But, knowing that YHVH is trustworthy, we did as asked. And I'm so glad that we did.
The transition to Texas was a rocky one, for sure, but it worked out. Being in the Austin area made me more appealing to local studios, and I was able to land a contract with a great company which would probably not have relocated me from Maryland. During the months leading up to that contract, we always had exactly the amount that we needed to survive, almost to the dollar. We didn't even have a place to live, but we were given a house-sitting gig, and then a friend let us live at his house rent-free. Friends both new and old gave us money to keep us going, often without us asking for help. Then, to cap it off, our finances miraculously fell into place so that we could get approved for a lease on a house just one day before the moving company arrived with a semi-truck full of our stuff (which had been in temporary storage).
God truly took care of us and taught us valuable lessons at the same time, while also giving others the chance to earn eternal rewards by showing us charity. He proved himself to us, and not for the first time.
Afterward, I was left wondering why I let myself become overwhelmed with fear at points along the way. Doesn't Abba promise to take care of our needs (Matt. 6:25-33)? All of his promises are Yes and Amen!
God truly took care of us and taught us valuable lessons at the same time, while also giving others the chance to earn eternal rewards by showing us charity. He proved himself to us, and not for the first time.
Afterward, I was left wondering why I let myself become overwhelmed with fear at points along the way. Doesn't Abba promise to take care of our needs (Matt. 6:25-33)? All of his promises are Yes and Amen!
The Next Level of Trust
Nearly two years have passed since our move to Texas, and we find ourselves in a tough spot once again. My contract with Bluepoint Games ended earlier than expected, which is a serious problem because we haven't been able to rebuild much of a cushion of savings. Logically, this would be the time to hustle and try to secure a position at another local studio (we're not going to leave Central Texas). But here's the rub: I've been feeling like God still wants me to let go of the rope.
I think he wants me to let go of employment altogether, and venture out on my own. That's the path to the kind of freedom that I desire for my family. My ministry deserves more of my time, my wife's ministry deserves more of her time, and the foster kids that God is entrusting to us deserve more of our time. Plus, I want Amanda (the wifey) to be able to finish her degree. The only way for me to make enough money quickly enough to see those things become a reality, is entrepreneurship.
I think he wants me to let go of employment altogether, and venture out on my own. That's the path to the kind of freedom that I desire for my family. My ministry deserves more of my time, my wife's ministry deserves more of her time, and the foster kids that God is entrusting to us deserve more of our time. Plus, I want Amanda (the wifey) to be able to finish her degree. The only way for me to make enough money quickly enough to see those things become a reality, is entrepreneurship.
So, starting a few months ago, I began learning how to create opportunities and grow money-making enterprises from nothing. It's been exciting to learn new things and dream of what could be, but at the same time, I've been very hesitant to go all-in. It would really need to be a full-time effort, since family and ministry obligations keep my non-working hours full. However, I've got bills and expenses that can't be reduced any more than they've already been reduced, so it would seem foolish to stop working a regular job long enough to get a business rolling. It's a rock-and-hard-place problem that's been driving me nuts.
The Sign That I Needed
Sometimes God communicates to us through coincidences. When something coincidental happens and it immediately triggers a quickening of the pulse and a burning in the chest, it generally means that God wants your attention. This happened to me at a Josh Tolley seminar earlier in June.
Amanda and I attended one of Mr. Tolley's two-day Business of Life summits—which was amazing—and one of the things that he hammered home early the first day was the need to let go of the rope. On the projection screen was a big photo of a person letting go of a rope swing. At that moment, it felt like God poked me and whispered, "Pssst! That's for you."
My wife immediately turned towards me with a knowing look. It was a sign not to be ignored. Our lives are going to change again, and in very cool ways. All we have to do is trust God and work diligently.
One of my friends uses a phrase from the movie Fired Up all the time. This seems like a good place to drop it:
Amanda and I attended one of Mr. Tolley's two-day Business of Life summits—which was amazing—and one of the things that he hammered home early the first day was the need to let go of the rope. On the projection screen was a big photo of a person letting go of a rope swing. At that moment, it felt like God poked me and whispered, "Pssst! That's for you."
My wife immediately turned towards me with a knowing look. It was a sign not to be ignored. Our lives are going to change again, and in very cool ways. All we have to do is trust God and work diligently.
One of my friends uses a phrase from the movie Fired Up all the time. This seems like a good place to drop it:
You've gotta risk it to get that biscuit. –Mak Malovik
Indeed you do, Mak. Indeed you do.
Funny how I was unexpectedly released from my contract right on the heels of that seminar. It's as if I now know what I need to know to succeed, and God is giving me a good shove to get me started. I guess it's now or never.
Funny how I was unexpectedly released from my contract right on the heels of that seminar. It's as if I now know what I need to know to succeed, and God is giving me a good shove to get me started. I guess it's now or never.
The Decision to Hope
I've just been kicked out of the nest and am falling fast. There are some vines around that I might be able to reach, if I try hard enough. This is the moment of truth. Do I grasp for one of those vines, or do I learn to fly?
I like the sound of that second option. Why not try out my wings?
I like the sound of that second option. Why not try out my wings?
They who hope in the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles. (Isaiah 40:31)
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